Chasing Allen Walker
by Incore
Summary: "So, you're new here?" The red headed boy asked pleasantly, holding out his hand to help Allen up. "Well, yes. Um, thank you." Allen mumbled under his breath. The older boy smiled, "No prob dude, it's my fault anyway, sorry for shoving you down. I'm Lavi by the way, you?" "Allen, Allen walker." He replied, glancing up with a smile. "Well Allen, welcome to Black Order High!"


Hello, this is my first fan fic and it's kind of crack but not really. Mostly it features Allen and his harem (male and females included), the real story will come out later but anyway I hope you enjoy it and please don't forget to comment or review ^_^

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It was 8:00 a.m. in the morning and Allen Walker had just stepped into the shower and turned on the water when he realized there wasn't any shampoo left on the shelf. Allen sighed and ran a hand through his slick wet hair, he really wanted to wash his hair since it's his first day going to school. Or perhaps not, maybe being dirty would give him an excuse to skip and stay home, it's not like he wanted to go in the first place, he'd rather stay here with-

"Allen~" the door to the bathroom was abruptly pushed open revealing a short haired girl grinning mischievously as Allen flustered and roughly attempted to wrap the shower curtain around his waist. He was suddenly very glad that he had turned the hot water full blast, which created a thick veil of steam that fortunately for him, blurred both the sharp outlines of his naked body and the the heated color of his blushing façade. "What are you doing Rhode!" Allen squealed, in a very unmanly like way. Rhode giggled and despite Allen's protests walked over to the shower area and handed the dumbfounded boy a bottle of Head and Shoulders.

"Relax, Tikki just told me he forgot to refill the bathroom supplies and you are probably thinking about skipping school as a excuse of not being properly clean." Rhode winked at the blushing boy, she then swept a glance at Allen unable to help herself, "… very...nice..." Absent mindedly, Rhode lowered her eyes and licked her lips. Allen felt a little violated.

"I am not even going to ask why Tikki sent you to come deliver a bottle of shampoo when I'm showering. You're a girl!" Allen closed his eyes in exasperation, what was wrong with his family? Rhode giggled again, then thankfully, skipped away and closed the door behind her. Allen could hear her continue to giggle down the hall over the noise of the shower. The boy sighed, Rhode have a habit of catching him in his worst moments for some reason, and sometimes he just couldn't figure her out. Never mind that, he never had figured her out, ever.

Rubbing the thick white shampoo into his hair Allen quickly washed it off and continued scrub the rest of his body, carefully applying soap to his back. For some reason he was blushing, Allen clenched his teeth, Rhode just had to make him all self conscious first thing in the morning. How annoying. In a few minutes the white haired boy was done, he shook the water out of his hair and quickly wrapped a white towel around his waist. He should have brought a pair of pants but he was in too much of a daze in the morning to think of doing so. Whatever. Slowly Allen opened the bathroom door and peeked down the hallways left and right, no sign of a certain frivolous girl to embarrass him further, good. He slipped stealthily out of the bathroom and resumed to tip toeing into his room before anyone noticed. Allen had made it all the way to his bedroom door when it suddenly whooshed open revealing an equally shifty Tikki Mikk staring back at him with a surprised expression.

"Boy, what are you doing here?" The man asked, regaining his composure and leaning against Allen's door frame looking in all the world as if he naturally belonged in Allen's private living quarters.

Allen's eye twitched, "Don't you think I should be the one to ask that question Mikk? What the hell are you doing in my room?" He propped his hands on his hips and glanced up at the taller man cynically. Despite himself wanting to look menacing, Allen pouted a little, it was his room! Why is it that everyone living in this house has no respect of his privacy at all? What's wrong with these people? Well yes, there's plenty that's wrong but still!

Tikki laughed, then to Allen's derision, patted the smaller boy on the head and walked off without answering him, muttering something irrelevant about cute puppies of all things. Allen stared after Tikki in bewilderment, what an abstract thinker that guy was. Growling under his breath Allen stepped warily into his room scanning for any sort of irregularity, the sprawled masses of books remained in a precarious tower above his oak desk, the unmade bed a perfect representation of a den of some sort and the few pieces of clothing lying around here and there were all in the exact places he left them, according to his memory. Well, Allen hoped that Tikki really didn't do anything perverted to his room in his absence but with that guy, you never know…

Ever since a few years ago Tikki have started to act a little weird even in Allen's standards, the boy wasn't sure exactly why but he really wished the guy would just get a girlfriend already and stop staring at him when he wasn't looking or buy him clothing that are just a tad too tight. Worst of all, Tikki was the reason why Allen was forced to attend a public school against all forms of rebellion and peaceful to violent protestation. Allen was perfectly able to meet and even exceed his grade criteria through independent study but the man had insisted on him being more "sociable" even though he knew the exact reason Allen chose not to associate himself with those outside of his family. However, when Tikki Mikk really wanted something, he always had his ways. The man was almost as efficient in manipulating Allen as Rhode, but just almost.

When Allen went down for breakfast at 9:00 a.m. and the smell that first greeted him was not the delicious aroma of freshly fried eggs (sunny side up as he likes it), or the creamy scent of boiled milk, or the mouth-watering fragrance of buttered toast straight out of the oven. No. Instead it was a smell that propelled the hairs on his neck to rise rigidly in attention and forced his nose to wrinkle in distaste. Allen's eyes widened. No. It couldn't be… Promptly the boy rushed down the rest of the stairway his heart thumping wildly in his chest. Dread gnawed at his heart and fear slipped into the boy's veins burning like rich saccharine wine.

A terrible sight greeted him, red, dripping red everywhere. Splatters of deep crimson painted the kitchen sink, and the marble counters were dripping with the thick fluid. Drip. Drop. Each droplet of ruby emanating distinctive splatters on the black and white-checkered floor. In the center of it all stood a petite girl wearing a red stained frilly apron and holding a seven-inch gleaming knife in her right hand that was, as Allen noticed, tarnished at the edge with an ominous piece of flapping flesh clinging to the end. Allen let out a short yelp of horror. The girl turned slowly and cocked her head as she regarded the trembling white haired boy with a sinister smile, leisurely Rhode licked at the piece of dangling flesh before wholly consuming it.

She then proceeded to wipe some of the scarlet splatters on her face with her stained left hand. "W-What have you done!" Allen whispered in anguish and fell to his knees in shock. "What are you talking about Allen? It's not like I sliced up Tikki or put him in the meat grinder or something." Rhode replied and walked towards the kneeling boy with a slightly anxious expression.

Concealing his face behind his white bangs Allen responded despondently "No, you did something far more worse than that, Rhode. Something devastatingly familiar."

"Hun?" It was at this exact moment that Tikki Mikk strolled out from his office whistling a merry tune when he stopped dead in his tracks and regarded the scenery before him. The slaughtered kitchen with red splattered all over. The small girl holding the seven-inch knife leaning towards a miserable looking boy who looked like he had just went through a traumatizing experience.

After a minute of processing, Tikki ran a hand through his thick curly locks and signed. "Rhode, you tried to cook again didn't you?"

The girl pouted, and Tikki was amused to see that her pout resembled Allen's, however, while Allen looked like a lost puppy in need of protection, Rhode was a more of a mischievous kitten looking to wreck your sofa.

"Oh come on, at least try some of it before you guys condemn me! I can't be that bad!" There was a hint of desperation in her tone.

At the mention of possible sustenance, despite Allen hovering gloom at Rhode demolishing the kitchen, yet again. He looked up not daring to hope that he'll get his breakfast, somehow, even if it was poisoned. It was not for the first time and despite Allen's nightly prayers he pessimistically doubted that this would be the last time either for the kitchen to undergo Rhode's torture session, it was at least better than that time during Valentine's day where Rhode had attempted at making homemade chocolates. That as an utter fiasco, an obliteration of the worst kind! All that chocolate wasted and Allen had to scrape dried icing from the ceiling for weeks! Plus, the kitchen actually exploded! Allen didn't even know kitchens could explode without gas leaks when they don't even use gas but electricity. The white haired boy shuttered at the memory. The day the kitchen exploded was among one of the worst days of his life, and that was saying something.

Allen noticed the large steel pot tittering on the stove the same time Tikki did, both of them swallowed hard at the sight of an unknown bubbling red substance that was gurgling un promisingly like some sort of chemically created embryo of a unborn monstrosity. Sweat formed on Allen's forehead as he regarded the pot suspiciously. "… What is that Rhode?" Tikki inquired bravely, trying to hide his discomfort.

Rhode snorted, "Its tomato soup, isn't it obvious?" She indicated in an exaggerated wave of her hand at the splatters of red dripping off of the kitchen appliances. "What did you think all this red was anyway?"

"Blood." Both Allen and Tikki deadpanned.

"…What about that?" Allen asked, pointing a shaking finger at several mysterious lumps of red slimy red things that looked oddly like freshly chopped meat, that is not livestock meat, or at least according to both Allen and Tikki's intuitions.

"Those, are carrots. And I'm not even going to bother asking what you guys thought that was."

"Oh…" Was all Allen could muster out.

"A-Anyway, we should clean some of this up. It appears breakfast at home is no longer practical due to someone's experiment so let's go out for MacDonald's, how about it guys?" Tikki suggested stepping carefully into the kitchen to get an entire roll of paper towel, much less than necessarily needed to clean everything up, as he was well aware of. Rhode pouted at the suggestion and was considering insisting them to attempt to digest her cooking but decided to compromise herself with a punishment at a later date instead.

Okay, so maybe the tomato soup did look slightly extraordinary and bubbly, since she did found out too late that she had poured an entire bottle of yellow dish soap into the soup rather than oil like she had presumed beforehand, but that was the manufacturing company's fault for not making those labels easier to discern! Besides, tomatoes with dish soap can't be all that bad…

Allen brightened up considerably at Tikki's words and immediately recovered from his fetal pose of despair to get up to help, after all the faster they manage to get the kitchen to look less like the crime scene of a homicide case, the faster they get to MacDonald's, and therefore the more time Allen have to eat his fill before Tikki forced him to go to school. It was an amazing fact in itself that Allen gets to have breakfast after Rhode's little 'experiment'. After five minutes of furious cleaning they were far from done, apparently Rhode had managed to contaminate the stove's machinery with tomato sludge and therefore the stove was permanently broken and they would have to order a new one. It would appear that eating out was the only option available for the next few days to Tikki's utter distress. When this was revealed the man had frozen into a state of shock mumbling about the health of his wallet and how soon his precious darling would become emaciated.

It would appear that all the buffets in town were going to get ripped off pretty soon, until they were kicked out of course. Allen sighed; he'd rather eat at home if only to keep Tikki in a reasonable state of sanity instead of looking at his wallet like that white goblin thing in lord of the rings whispering "my precious" every so often. It's really starting to creep him out. He wiped away the last smidge of red on his side of the kitchen counter, which only accounts for a meter at best. Allen sighed again; the rest would have to wait until he got home from school.

"Ummm… Allen?" A soft voice alerted him. Allen turned around, and stared into Rhode's deep lilac eyes. "Um, yes Rhode?" The girl shuffled under his gaze and looked almost, just almost -sheepish. Allen was baffled, Rhode never looked sheepish, he'd thought that was impossible. In fact, this nearly worried him.

"Is something the matter?" Allen asked, concerned.

"…No. Well, um. Okay, look, maybe I'm a little tinsy bit sorry that I broke the stove and all. Just a little. Cause, I know you like your food and won't be able to eat your own cooking for a while… Whatever! Forget I said anything okay? Just stop looking so depressed will you?" The girl brusquely turned her head away, then began to fiercely scrub at a particular spot that Allen had already previously cleaned with a fixated attention.

No way. Did Rhode just apologize or was Allen still in bed dreaming? But if he were dreaming he would be dreaming about being the king of mitarashi dangos and NOT the kitchen being destroyed.

"Um… um… okay. But why Rhode? You told me you didn't like cooking, you said it was for 'pathetic girls wanting to please the gluttonous boyfriends', if I remember the exact wording…" Rhode licked her lips and looked away, staring in rapid attention at another particular stain, this time on the tiled floor. "Cause I feel like it." It was a statement with unquestionable certainty.

"A-alright." Allen didn't inquire further. The seven inch long knife was, for some inexplicable reason, still clenched in the little girl's right hand. The boy didn't want to push his luck.

"Alright you two, do you guys want breakfast or not?" Tikki shouted over his shoulder as he grabbed his black trench jacket from the hanger and made his way to the front door. Allen followed immediately and proceeded to pull on his boots.

"Not so fast boy, go get your backpack." Allen groaned, "I hate you Mikk" He muttered under his breath.

"Awww come on, I'm taking you to MacDonald's. You love me and you know it."

"I'm not a kid, Mikk! And no, that's sick!" Allen shouted over his shoulder.

"Nope… Maybe you really aren't a kid anymore. " Tikki replied, surveying the teen boy up and down in a most conspicuous way. Thankfully for him, Allen had his back turned and was bending over to reach for his backpack so he didn't notice that he was being totally checked out. Tikki narrowed his eyes and grinned.

"Oh my, are you staring at Allen butt, Tikki? It's rather nice isn't it?"

"Un-hun." Tikki agreed in a low voice absent mindedly, before snapping back to reality and glancing down at a giggling Rhode. She winked at him and mouthed a black mail message should he take them to McDonald's.

Grouchily, Allen readjusted his boots into the right position after jumping into his seat. Seriously, this morning was way too long for his liking and he still had to deal with a first day at school. Allen groaned in anticipation. If only he could have his breakfast, every thing should be better after that, he hoped, in fact he could almost smell the egg sandwich, taste the double cheeseburger melting in his mouth. An ice cream, no make that twelve, for desert. Ah… Heaven.

"Allen, you're drooling." Hastily he wiped at the drool forming on the corner of his mouth with his school uniform sleeve.

"Um, sorry Rhode." Allen never thought he'd admit this, but it's a good thing that Tikki's a reckless driver, he didn't think he'll be able to hold his stomach back much longer before it ravages out of control.

"Nah, it fine." Rhode smiled up at him sweetly, making Allen distinctively uncomfortable.

Allen fidgeted with his coat sleeve. It was black, like the rest of his school uniform, except for the silver rims and strips and the numerous zippers stitched all over the place. Really, it was a completely irrational outfit. What are all the zippers for anyway? Not to mention those big elaborate buttons with the school insignia engraved unto their surfaces. But it wasn't the worst part, it's the black pants that made him feel kind of… awkward, they were really tight. Modish, he supposed. But do school uniforms have to be so skin fitting? Is that even appropriate? What kind of school did Tikki sign him up for anyway? Now Allen's getting suspicious, what kind of school would Tikki sign him up for?

Rhode had told him that she loved his uniform and even stole it once just so she could try it on herself, but then again it's Rhode.

"Are you going to see me off?" Allen asked her.

"Un-hun. I can't let Tikki have all the fun of giving you a good luck kiss." She replied playfully and shuffled closer to him on the back seat.

"T-That's stupid. I won't let anyone kiss me if I can help it!" Despite himself, Allen could feel his cheeks heating up.

"Oh, but Allen, you are helpless. Vulnerable, really." Rhode teased.

"Wha-!" His cheeks are ruby red by now. Seriously, he needs to look up how to better counteract his traitorous expressions, the boy's pretty sure that no other boy his age blushes as much and easily as he does, it's embarrassing.

Rhode laughed and leaned her head on Allen shoulder. He was amused to see that her hair was as messy and rebellious as usual, the spiky hair that that defied the authority of gravity made her small head seem like a firepoppy flower. "Wake me up when we get there." She mumbled before shifting and burying her face in Allen's chest, despite his objections once again.

Allen sighed, he didn't have the heart to push her away, so per usual, Rhode got her way. "Getting all cozy back there hun, boy?" Tikki called from the front seat.

"Whatever. Where are we even going Mikk? This isn't the road to Mac Donald's, or at least not to any McDonald's I know of, did a new restaurant open around here?" Allen inquired, staring out the window at the unfamiliar buildings and stores.

"Actually, we are going to the Willy Wonka candy store for breakfast."

"… Ah, not that I dislike candy for breakfast despite the numerous health concerns related to the subject but why are we ditching McDonalds again?"

Tikki chuckled, "To satisfy a particular princess if you must know", or rather to save myself from a potentially embarrassing confrontation from a certain silvette about something I'd rather not discuss about, at least not yet, thought Tikki.

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Allen: …Dish-soap tomato soup…

Tikki: Were you trying to kill us, Rhode?

Rhode: Hun? But it smell nice!

Allen: It smells like Tikki's socks! How's that nice?

Tikki: Boy, I'll have you know that my socks do not stink, thank you very much.

Allen: Says yourself, you try doing the laundry for once will you?

Tikki: Don't be ridiculous, who's ever heard of a man doing the laundry like a housewife?

Allen: …Is that an insult? (cracks knuckles)

Rhode: I could do the laundry!

Tikki & Allen: No!

Rhode: Why not?

Tikki & Allen: (remembers the time when the washer and dryer exploded)

Rhode: Fine, you guys are weird. Oh right, do the FAQ Allen!

Allen: …Why should I do everything around here? (grumbles)

Tikki: Boy , just do it.

Allen: (sigh) Fine! Anyway if you have any questions please post it as a review after each chapter and we'll try our best to answer it. See you next chapter! ^_^

Rhode: I heard there's going to be Laven next chap… (squeals XD)

Tikki: What?! No!

Allen: What's Laven?


End file.
